Sep 14

This week the Dads come up with a great plan for screwing over Olive Garden's marketing department: the Pasta Colostomy.

Then they talk toddler beds and how they ruin your life.

Viva went to the hospital, and ever since is the most spoiled child on earth - and her upcoming birthday will feature live entertainment and all the presents ever.  Everything in Matt's house is brought by a fairy, and death is never permanent, everything in D.M.'s Syracuse is cold, harsh reality.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!

Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Sep 10
Presents for kid's parties you didn't want to attend, stubble on the man who is performing oral on you, and much, much, more!

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Sep 07

We're catching up on the Mailbag, Voicemail, and more!

But, first, we talk about the miracle of pre-ordering from "Goddamazon" as Matt waits and waits for his miniature HISS Tank.

Tim in NY is on the phone, asking about Matt's dick.

Matt reveals the prize baskets for the Fatty Fatty Fat Fat... Fat contest, and it's 80's rad awesome!

Ian goes paralyzes from pooping, Drew sends emergency potty advice, and much, much more!

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!

Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Sep 04
Matt finishes his France report with Professor Foster starting an international incident.

D.M.'s house ages into becoming your Grandpa's toenails.

And Todd has to get his 6th grader a phone, so he started with a skeezy burner.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Sep 03

On today's show, the Dads explore the absent mothers of 80s and 90s sitcoms.  They discuss party favors you can buy through our portal, and the dreaded "big girl beds" coming down the pike for them.

Once again our hosts complain about the complainers about the ice bucket challenge, who don't seem to understand how the water cycle works, or that you can't mail water.  Then they make old Lou Gehrig's disease jokes.

Matt is back from France, and he discusses that strange country, with its lack of beverages and bathrooms.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!

Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 29
Deep cuts - here is Matt and D.M. with guest host Michael Rice of OperaNow! THE Opera Podcast talking about their childhood crushes on Susan Saint James, then evaluate Law & Order: SVU and wish for a jetpack wearing, infodumping B.D. Wong.

Todd's dog brings you shoes when you come over, but the shoes don't fit.

The Dads get punchy and talk about elderly Robert Redford's weird silent disaster pic, "This Couldn't Possibly Get Any Worse", and give it a million new titles.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 27
Welcome to part 2! Dave’s landscaping project may have caused his basement to flood. Dave considers that killing himself would be easier than the clean-up he has ahead of him.

Todd’s kids have been into the 1960’s Batman reruns on IFC. While the show is harmless, IFC doesn’t seem to realize that kids might be watching Batman reruns at 8 in the morning and thinks it is okay to runs promos for shows that involve hand-jobs and public urination.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 24

Welcome back to your mom's favorite show to rock a shower head to. Matt's in France checking out your underpants this week. He'll be back in a few days, ready to fill our hearts with tales of pastry and surrender.

Todd really hates Seth Meyers show. D.M. hates Americans who think Ebola could possibly ever in a million billion years come to the U.S. and decimate the country. He also rocks some serious geography  regarding recent events in Liberia. 

D.M.'s daughter Cecilia cuts her face so the dads can put a plug in for Mederma on Amazon Prime. Sweet kid, that Cecilia. Todd used it on his daughter hit a dog's mouth with her face and it cleared everything right up.

Next the dads take a call on the White Dad Voice Mail, on which Matthew Sm1th (spelled correctly) craps on D.M.'s parenting skills. 

ALS is stealing all the money out from under all other diseases, and it has to stop. Now.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!

Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 22
Happy Friday!! Forget your work week with dose of Bonus! Pizza Hut is worried about competition hurting it's business, when they should be worried that it's not 1987. Our generation loves to talk about the 80's but the guys wonder if people will ever be nostalgic about the 90's. Todd already is if you count his collection of De La Soul music.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 20

Welcome back. 

Now that D.M.'s daughters are two-and-a-half and potty trained, they've started more difficult bodily fluid expulsion tricks, like how to poop in a corner, or pee in front of the toilet. Cecilia seems to have mastered the art of clenching her face in order to make her father think she's pooping…as a joke. 

Matt has to get a physical, and it's time to show his female doctor the goods. She's nervous, of course, and in the end there just wasn't enough blood flowing to that region of the body to impress anyone.

Todd looks at a twenty-year-old note to Kelly that Matt drew on back in the day.

Tony Stewart murders a guy, and Ferguson, MO, is still a bad place to take the kids on vacation.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!

Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 17
On today's new episode, the Dads go loco for the jalapeno double.

The Dads test out the new voice mail with a drowning drunk dial from Ohio - we hope the caller is still alive, but it doesn't seem like it!

Matt gets some phrase books on Amazon, and is afraid to use them, while D.M. downloads "Nemo" on Amazon so he can cry and cry and cry. The Dads are tired of having their emotions destroyed by manipulated points of light, and Todd's troubles seem too always line up with tragedies in Pixar films.

Speaking of grief - people on Facebook need to get it together, lest the passing of Robin Williams push facebook hystrionics right into madness.

Todd doesn't want to be so out of shape anymore, but his body keeps bringing him to fast food restaurants, sometimes shutting off his brain to make it happen.  He thinks there is one last fit Todd in there somewhere, but it he may have to hit rock bottom to get there, and rock bottom for Todd might mean accidentally crushing one of his children while playing Twister... which almost happened this week.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 15
Join us as the dads discuss the pros and cons of falling in love with a dumb person. Then check out our new puppet problems at whitedadproblems.com

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 12
D.M.'s kids are 2 and a half and have never slept.  This may explain D.M.  The Engel house is just a giant vaudeville routine involving shuffling toddlers from room to room and falling asleep for minute increments of time on various surfaces.

Over at Todd's house - he new extra Wooly Willy look, shaved head AND no beard, it testing poorly with audiences.  He also just completed his annual non-relaxing vacation with extended family, and is considering renting a pontoon boat in the wilderness, or perhaps going on a vision quest into his dark heart.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 10

Todd has been on Goddamazon buying his kid's summer reading - which is kid didn't do.  He didn't do his summer journals, either, which raised many questions, including:  WTF is summer journaling?  Does he really have to do this?  How is Todd going to cheat this? Should Matt and D.M. smother their kids before they get to Jr. High?

Matt's going to Europe - perhaps to relax, perhaps to ruin his marriage.  Hard to say.

Speaking of Matt's marriage, it got better this weekend when he and his wife went to a street fair and she got just the right amount drunk - then everything was foiled when Viva needed to poop and all that was available was Port-o-Potties which has "gotten it from both ends."  Hilarity and public evacuation ensues.

We've got voice mail now - call us at (347) 766 - FUOM and leave a message!

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a mug... or something!

Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)
Aug 06
Hey everyone, 

So, we're back on track this week, sort of. All of last week's episodes are now up and running. 

We had plans to throw some videos your way this week, but iTunes is having its way with our back side, and so instead, we ask that you go to whitedadproblems.com to check out a video that we posted this week. 

Lastly, we have a new voicemail for those of you who'd like to send a question or comment and be heard on the air! Just call 347-766-FUOM, 347-766-3866. 

Subscribe for free on iTunes and, please, leave us a rating and a review! We're on Twitter @whitedadprobs and have a page on Facebook!

And check out our weekly comic essays each Tuesday at Chicago Parent!

Send us an e-mail we can read on the air! whitedadproblems@gmail.com - we'll send you a random object from D.M.'s house!
Listen Now:


Comments | Embed | Download | Plays (Loading)