Oct 22
Matt and Viva learn to just take the stairs.

D.M. gives up on trying to update and just bemoans his life, and the children that eat all his food.

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Oct 19

Haven't heard enough about Ebola fears this week?  Here's more.

Also: Halloween?  Why have any costumes but Elsa from "Frozen"?

Todd finally mops up his soaked house and gets new carpet that changes his life.  Meanwhile, Ellie gets sick and misses her big field trip, but who needs field trips when you have deep plush?

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Oct 17
Here's the part of the week for our Bloopers, Bleeps, Blunder, and Practical Jokes.

D.M. has some bad news for Bernie Madoff...

Todd and D.M. decide that paying it forward is stupid.

And Matt tells his famous story of the time he got to ask Paul McCartney anything...

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Oct 14
Viva's archenemy Pepper seems poised to conquer as Viva loses interest in tap... has Matt failed as a Musical Theatre dad?

If you had a genie lamp that would let you not go to the bathroom ever again, would you take it?

Todd's house springs a leak, luckily he puts the same skills he used to talk down the price of his ice cream to use talking down the price of his carpet.

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Oct 13
Guess who died?  Punjab!  The Dads remember Geoffrey Holder with a look back at UNcola advertising through the years.

Matt forgot to turn off Amazon Mom and is now buried in diapers, but Todd and DM suggest he try them on, becuase it'll be just like peeing in the ocean.

On the voicemail, Dan from Pittsburgh embraces the horror of the White Dads lives - and wins some Trading Cards!  (Growing Pains or NKOTB)

Ebola is hot, hot, hot.  Everyone is swabbing for it.

D.M. finally finishes painting - but has his property value gone up?  He certainly sank the neighborhood values when he moved in. Todd once got rich in a house just by walking through it in the early 2000s, then he sank the money into a house worth less than on gallon of bat paint.

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Oct 10
It's Bonus Problems, in which we slice off the cheek and feed it to you!

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Oct 08
Todd goes to a hard-sell hard-serve ice cream parlor where he's offered a monthly waffle cone protection policy.  He causes the soda jerk to lose $6K and one Cadillac.

D.M. lives in a cloud of bats, some of which he is painting.  He hates his life.

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Oct 05

This is a great week of shows if you can stand Matt's horrible car mic and nose breathing.

The new television season is mostly Shonda.  Professor Foster sees no problem with this.  D.M. will go back to watching HSN.  Todd has hidden "Parenthood" from his wife, D.M. thinks it's just more episodes of "Brothers and Sister", and Matt just loves to talk like Ray Romano, even if that Gilmore Girls chick does bad fake improv.

Matt's daughter Viva now has an arch-enemy, and her name is PEPPER.  (Or perhaps Pepper is Matt's arch-enemy.)

Professor Foster and Matt are dying of anxiety, and the only cures seem to be girlie things and woo like lying in a lavendar field or drinking tea.  Todd and D.M. suggest Matt starts a hobo fight club in his garage, and D.M. runs a test to see if Matt's "sorry" is genuinely off-putting to the homeless.

It is.

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Oct 02
The Dads discuss reality shows and what a buzz kill all the sad single parent stories are on shows built on a sangria of Stockholm Syndrome and White Wine.

Todd is learning to be a baseball coach and a gymnastics coach, because his kids don't believe he can help them with their theatre stuff, even though he's got two decades of theatre under his (dance) belt. He's considering wearing more scarves.  The biggest insult is that he is both a pirate and a theatre person, and his daughter think he can't help her with her pirate musical.

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Oct 01
D.M. and one of his twins go on a plastic surgery roadtrip, and she treats him to sonic torture.  When he gets home, and she has a new toy her sister doesn't have - there's even more torture.

The Dads are sad because they can't ignore their kids' illness like the do their own, and have to pay copays.

D.M. gives some great credit advice - ignore your creditors and forget your credit score... you can always still buy a house in Syracuse.

Todd had to pay a surgical fee to get ointment, and D.M. payed what Matt paid for a hospital stay just to get told off.

Matt went to New York, and watched the Chinese Mafia hoard iPhone 6s.  Todd has the 6 and keeps dropping it from his sausage fingers, and all the Dads just wants computer sized computers and phone sized phones, like  in the olden days.

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Sep 29
The Dads discuss All Shonda Thursdays on ABC and their favorite 80's post-TV show production company logo, like Stephen J. Cannell, John Charles Walters, and UBU.

Then they talk about the White Dads theme by one of the other D.M. Engels.

D.M. is not allowed to pee in his own bathroom, and he and his wife have written swear words on their bathroom walls.

A listener makes a Jalapeno McDicken and Matt is going to his house.

Viva loves action figures and Matt wants to use her to justify buying a $100 lego Terror Drome.
The Engel Girls watch the new Strawberry Shortcake and D.M. makes them watch the old one.

Paul Konerko retires from the White Sox and everyone cries. The Dads dread trotting out the 2005 Sox forever like Chicago trots out the 85 Bears,

Josie Engel is a rapping surfer from gangsta city.  The New Strawberry Shortcake has no conflict.

Growing Pains had a Gold sister, but we don't know which.

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Sep 26
Listen to enough NPR and your "driveway moment" will be a shotgun suicide in the car.

D.M. and Matt wanted Scotland to secede, and so did the rest of America.

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Sep 23
Todd tries to get an iPhone 6 and gets a bureaucratic nightmare out of a Russian novel, instead.

Matt throws a birthday party and breaks his own heart.

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Sep 22
Hey Everybody! IN this episode we wonder why phones are getting bigger and pants are getting smaller. Todd has ordered his iPhone 6 and already resents for distracting him from his kids.

Dave's girls have decided to continue to share a room...for now. This saves Dave many man hours of remodeling, but he will continue to never sleep. Dave loves plastic mattresses. If Dave paints half of his house once a week, Zeno's Paradox says he will NEVER be done painting his house.

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Sep 19
On this bonus edition, the Dads make the horrifying discovery that Wilford Brimley was only 10 years older than Matt when he filmed Cocoon, and they wonder what casting would be for a remake of Cocoon.

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